A lesson in sleep deprivation.

TODAY'S MUSIC: Tv On the Radio - Wolf like me, A method, Pretty much the whole of Return to Cookie Mountain.

Lately I've been having problems with my sleep, so perhaps a move to New York is in order? (annoying song reference #1). But really, staying up late for no good reason, having people over and not sleeping at all....i'm way too old for this kind of obscene, irresponsible, downright outlandish behaviour. So i decided to review the phenomenon for you, so you can decide for yourself if a life of nocturnal shenanigans....resultant in complete inability to function, is your preferred lifestyle option.

Of course, there are benefits of sleeping less - it increases your time capacity to lurk on facebook, lurk on blogger, or lurk in the dark recesses of the interweb only known to a select few participants on Beauty and the Geek.

It is also a veritable goldmine of tv entertainment - Re-runs of Room for Improvement (where a bunch of pseudo-interior designers fuck with some poor suckers home), Ladette to Lady (my daily inspiration), Autopsy: Life and Death (hope you're keeping down that late-night pizza your ordered), and various psycho religious propaganda.

Aspiring Ladies doing their best to reform their ways.

But the compound effect of all this brain-numbing television and cyber stalking together with a feeble 5 hours sleep, is enough to screw with your severely depleted soul.

After the all-nighter exploits of a few days ago for example, i thought i should get out for some retail therapy. Having no sleep, i was feeling pretty disorientated, so as i walked around Jigsaw and Morrissey, i found myself swaying and trying to keep upright. It must have looked like i was sauntering around the aisles like a big rich knob, when really i was just trying to stop myself falling and cracking my head open on their $1000sq m. marble floor.

Looking like a nutter is only one of the many consequences of lack of sleep. While things may seem kinda funny and ridiculous at the time, rest assured that everyone is probably laughing at you, whether you are perceptive enough to realise it, or not.

So if you are considering joining the dark forces of late-night loonies, be aware that after a few weeks of the sport, you may start eating your own flesh with fatigue-fuelled paranoia..but hey, it's just what you learnt from Autopsy, right?

Sleep Deprivation = 2 stars