Peachy!

Stuff is great. Well, all the fun, exciting stuff that should normally take a back seat to more serious aspects of life such as uni, and the future, and all that. But life is infinitely more fun when it's filled with all the things that provide instant gratification....none of this 'work-hard-for-something-and-it-will-eventually-pay-off' crotch. Actually i think that's my problem; i really have trouble committing to something if it's not going to instantly give me some sort of happiness high. Damn i have such a fickle personality.

I saw The Boat that Rocked...yeah. It really annoyed me after a while. It had it's moments, but it ended up as one of those 'rolicking good times' movies that just tries way too hard, and pretty much feeds off the audience's sentimentality (and lame sense of humour). That being said, heaps of people liked it, and i may be publicly stoned for saying this...

ALSO SAW Monsters Vs. Aliens 3D at the IMAX. Booyah. I somehow end up seeing the most mainstream, family-friendly movies... but i am so converted to 3D. Everything should be in 3D. Not only do you get to wear sexy star-wars's like glasses, it shits all over crummy real life. Movie was fun, wallet was raped, unsuccessful in stealing glasses.

I was also overcome with jealousy when my work friend turned up the other night when we were going out in her new D & G babies. WANT.

Needless to say i felt pretty sexy in my non-descript plastic $60 heels.

Well i must go shower cos i just got back from my run (it's sunny for the first time in what feels like weeks! hooray!).

La'erzzzz!

Le scaphandre et le papillon

At the risk of sounding like a complete toss, i am having an awesome time reading 'Le Scaphandre et Le Papillon' (original french version of the Diving Bell & the Butterfly). I understand about 50% of it (being generous) but i was given the book by someone really lovely & thoughtful so decided to take it on. If you haven't seen the film adaptation yet, i'm afraid there is absolutely no alternative than for you to head down to your local Blockbuster (check out the cross promotion) and rent it before you live another second of your (yet-to-be-fulfilled) life. It is probably the most beautiful film i've seen...but i have commitment issues in using the term 'favourite'.


I also find myself in Newcastle this week...the few days have gone too quickly and have been characterised by cramming in as many lost friends/relations as possible and enjoying delicious free food, oh yeah.

I went to see my grandparents today, and although we aren't really all that close and tend to steer clear of any cutesy 'family bonding time', we ended up flicking through old albums of theirs in the spooky old haunted room at the front of their terrace. I love old photos... they are really interesting and also a little sad. I've been asking Grandma for ages if i could see some photos of her when she was young, mostly to check out if i really am 'so much like her' which is what i'm always told. Glad to report that i see zero resemblance, at least in the face department. Body, yes, which pains me as she is now festively plump...

I found some pretty awesome photos at home too - check out mum (on the left) pre-trauma of ranga childbirth. What a babe! Although i'm glad the mullet remained in the 80s.

Here are my parents looking exceptionally goofy and me being the ugliest baby in the world.

And the origins of my daschund obsession...

Well, everything's peachy, wish to transplant all groovy Newcastle peeps to Sydney where we could live out our days sunbaking at Coogee and eating low-calorie snacks (hey, gotta keep trim). Off now to mooch and contemplate going to centrelink to give them more information that they already have...bastardos.

Bisous x

Movies movies movies!

I went on a bit of a film-buying bender last night - our work is selling off SO MANY awesome titles, and i couldn't bear to see ungrateful patrons getting their dirty mitts on them before me...So instead of working/serving/cleaning, i spent a majority of last nights shift pillaging the sale bins. I have plans to attack them again tonight, but here's what i got so far:

*Malcolm X (haven't seen it, but Spike Lee? Yes.)
*The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (glorious)
*Leaving Las Vegas
*Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter...and Spring
*The Young Visiters (NEVER HEARD OF IT! But has Bill Nighy, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent. How can this be?)
*Rear Window (Hitchcock the crazy bastard)
*Open Window (may be one for mum)
* Thelma & Louise (can you go past it?)

Also rented and watched Del Toro's new film The Orphanage.

Woah, woah, woah, pants-crappingly awesome. B-dawg and I were watched 90% of it through our fingers. SEE IT!

Well, that's about all. I am obsessed with geeky film stuff.

Can't wait to come back to Newcastle on Monday, counting down.

HAPPY EASTER WENCHES!

Le Tag.

Spanks Ellery for the tag! Giggidy.

What is your current obsession?

Doing health shiz, like running, eating vego + organic like a crazy person, and building up my guns.

Do you nap a lot?

Hellllll no. Only if i've had a really excessively big night, but even then i hate the whole waking up, face half caked in drool, disoriented 'what-the-hell-time-is-it?' kinda feeling.

What is on your desk?

A lot less than yesterday after cleaning binge! But tends to build back up again within a matter of hours... Ipod, banana peel (like ew), cup of green tea, crazy old aviator sunnies, dettol (?), felt flower made for me by smellery, 20 cents, bunch of hand-cream, button, crumb.

What would you like to learn to do?

I would really like to learn to windsurf! How 90s is that? Mum used to be some crazy windsurfing nut and although it's not really in vogue right now, i can see myself in my fluro harness going at warp speed across Nelson's Bay, being unable to turn around, and ending up in New Zealand.

What’s for dinner?

Well the day is but young so haven't really planned the menu...i'm guessing it's going to be out of vegetables, or rice, or vegetables and rice.

What is your favorite weather?

NOT RAINING. I love summer on those perfect days when it isn't sweltering, but it's ideal for the beach with your friends that you haven't seen for ages and really miss....*tear*.

What is on your bedside table?

A cute little donkey who holds all manner of random pens, clothing tags and a razor... My momiji doll from El whom i love as she is infinitely adorable and adds to my feng shui i feel. Crazy old clock radio that i haven't swiched on in approx. 2 years. Empty photo frame that i never got around to filling. Well-loved purple lamp that has seen better days.

What’s your style?

Too poor for style.
Otherwise, I would say, dere-licte.

What is your most challenging goal right now?

Trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour and get up le early. Early is ok - morning time is ace, but i can't kick the terrible habit of perusing the web until the wee hours for no apparent reason.
Also trying not to binge on biscuits/sweets is hella hard, they are my culinary soul-mates.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where do you want it to be?

Probably the south of France, just to be heaps original. I would move there with everyone i know (as it is also the biggest house in the world i assume) and we would sleep atop croissant beds and frolick in the lavender and always be merry and gay.

What would you like to have in your hands right now?

A PUPPY! It would be a dauchtsund and i would call him schnitzel.

What would you like to get rid of?

Your pants.

What languages can you speak?

Working on a French-English Pidgin.

What language(s) do you want to be able to speak?

Pig-latin (never could master the intense tachnical elements of that one), Animal (like Dr. Doolittle fools, or that thornberry kid).

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A retired environmental lawyer who has a brief foray into the television world as a celebrity news-reader but becomes content to live a life of leisure, writing in my spare time a much loved column about nothing in particular feautured weekly in the Sydney Morning Herald.

What's one thing you're looking forward to?

Finally cementing that friendship. Going home at some stage in the next decade. Becoming less of a twat (working on it).

Favourite memory of the last week?

Dinner with the girls (was that in the last week?), all those other amazing social engagements that i attended...yeah.

What websites you visit constantly during the day?

Bookface, Twitter, Hotmail, UTS, Blogger, You-Tube, time-wasters-r-us.org.

If you were to pick up a pen right now, what would be the first thing you'd write?

'Weetbix'.
Grocery shopping list fools.

NO TAGS FOR YOU!

Anticipation > Event.

Yoooooo so i'm feeling pretty exhausted after a full day of consumerism...funnily enough i expected my life would be somehow magically transformed after today, with new clothes and such. But isn't it always the way that you build something up so much and then you end up kinda underwhelmed? I seriously dedicated about 90% of my time last week to daydreaming, listmaking and prioritising all the pretty things i was going to spend my Rudd monies on....

So last night i ordered a bunch of new skincare shizzle online (awesome novelty in purchasing with Mastercard Debit...someone will probably fraud my ass) and now i am eagerly awaiting it's arrival! Obviously i expect it to make me into Scarlett-esque beauty with flawless skin and all the rest. Possibly an overly high expectation. Results pending...

Anyhoo, this morning was the official free-for-all spending climax, beginning at 9am with my phone call to the Animal Welfare League to donate fiddy bucks (it is so outrageous that animal shelters recieve NO government funding and rely solely on charity...) so that was a nice start to the day. Then got a phone call from this lady who works in market research (apparently i had signed myself up on some kind of internet-gimmick-money-making bender) and she wants me to go to an interview about sports water on Friday...random, but worth $50. So obviously i will lend my time to the shady researches and pretend i consume loads of vitamin water, which i don't, cos it's a complete rip off and packed full of sugar. They don't need to know this.

Then proceeded to the mother of all Westfield's to give something back to the economy, however quickly realised that due to lack of practice, my shopping skillz have reached an all time low. I'm talking, can't find clothes i like, everything looks terrible... all those unfortunate things that happen to people who aren't me. Shopping confidence has gone out the window...even though my wardrobe needs updating like Gillard's hairstyle. In short, i bought one top that is pretty uninspired, and spent money instead on running gear, perfume (GREEN APPLE - DKNY. FUCK YESS!) and make-up...things that really don't answer the daily question of 'what do i have to wear?'.

To sum up this melancholy narrative...money did not buy me happiness, but it has made me smell fantastic!

15 minute speed post

Due to much media pressure, campaigns, rallies and other large public demonstrations, i thought i'd return to the blogosphere to pack a punchy 15 minute post. I have a 'homework deadline' that starts at 11 o'clock, after which i have to retreat into a sad ball of assignment misery. Actually it's a presentation for my favourite subject, Cinematic Cultures, which is the bomb diggity of all uni classes. It includes watching fabulous movies every week and then talking about them like the wanky film students that we are. Not only has my world been rocked by Lars von Triers, Jean Luc Godard, De Sica, Jorgen Leth and other freaking awesome filmmakers, i also now feel like less of an embarrassment amongst my suave film-buff friends. Anyyywaayyyy the presentation is on this Japanese filmmaker OZU and my lord, it is interesting but so so dry. We have to present on shit like the patterns of editing, dimensions of space/framing, other mind-numbing info that no-one is going to want to hear about.
So it seems i've used up 10 of my 15 mins just talking about the assignment i now need to be finishing in 5 minutes.
There is so much more i have to give!
So the government is being very sweet in it's donation to my sad charity case. I am so distracted by the thought of actually having money that isn't for rent/phonebill/internet/electricity/cleaning products/other items that i feel robbed having to buy such as toothpaste, toilet paper, hand soap... I am that ecstatic! Instead of studying i've been making little lists of potential purhcases - i have set aside thursday as my day to single-handledly save the country from recession.
Ok it's 11am, must start work now or never will. This is the worst post ever, but it did kill 15 minutes.
A plus tard my pretties.

Welcome to Tagsville!

TODAY'S MUSIC: Antony and the Johnsons (holy moly, so amazing)

I've been tagged by Ellen! Thanks cuz!

Four Places I Go Over And Over:

* Coles - mainly at random hours, and always with the intention of buying healthy snacks that seem to magically transform into cookies, or at this time of year, Easter-related goodies. Oh dear.

* Coogee beach - the daily run/walk. It is the most beautiful place in the world, possibly inhabited by 90% of all the worlds good-looking people...added incentive to work off last night's trip to Coles.

* Work - only a block away, yet always a most depressing journey.

* Uni on the bus - i always really enjoy the bus trip for some reason, i think it's like my chill out time before the assault of actually using brain.

Four People Who E-mail Me Regularly:

* Random companies asking me to fill out consumer surveys. Yes, i am one of those people who believes one day, i may actually make money from internet gimmicks. (P.S I earned $0.93 cents yesterday, ohhhhh yeaaahhhh)

* Borders - some random books i can't afford.

* WSPA (world-society for the protection of animals)

* Apple - new macs i can't afford.

(Wait, were any of those people? FAIL.)

Four Favourite Smells:

* Dencorub - no, not really, i just have it all over myself right now and it's engulfing every sense...

* Jasmine

* Random wafting Thai-food smells

* DKNY - Green Apple. Don't actually posses this delicious perfume, but wish to, asap.

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:

* I second Ellen's 'shopping with a load of money'.

* In Provence, France running naked through a lavender field with some guy called Fabien.

* Snorkeling in an exotic destination, checking out some amazing marine beauties.

* At a party with everyone i know, drinking elaborate beverages, listening to a selection of our favourite tunes, and laughing uncontrollably.

Four TV Shows I Watch:

* Beauty and the Geek - oh i admit it!

* ABC News - Juanita keeps me up to date with all the current global goss.

* Black Books - infinitely hilarious.

* Ladette to Lady - another embarrassing admission...

NOW I TAG!

Chris

Ellery! Although i suspect that's against the rules.

Aaaaaaand I'm done.

Who needs plans when you have none.

TODAY'S MUSIC: Are you Magnetic? - Faker

So i had some grand plans for my last day of holidays...namely hanging out with my home-slice Chelsea and spending altogether too much of my grocery money on clothing and other such luxuries. Then some kind of red-wine fuelled dining, followed by delicious Newtown gelato. But alas! She was summoned to her wenchy bar job, thus leaving me at a slightly loose end.

Never fear! Today i've already: slept in much too late, gone running to the beach and soaked up some much needed sun, had a shower (!!), watched the oscars, shopped for groceries, and come home with all necessary ingredients to make a feast of cookies to share with...myself. NB: I can't wait until my flat-mate gets back from teaching prac...i'm doing altogether too much talking to my computer, walking around half dressed, pigging out with no one to shame me...

Now i plan to spend the evening baking cookies, cooking ravishing ravioli, watching The Great Gatsby and working out what to wear to uni tomorrow (UTS is a self-esteem raping, fashion-loving, trend-setting tower full of Sydney's most elite fashionista's, hence the comfort-first attire that i've adapted over the holidays needs some prior thought).

EXHIBIT A: The outfit i sport most days of the week.

Jeans from my 'last resort' drawer; hairband worn as bracelet from Coles; Shirt from Blockbuster.

Speaking of Blockbuster, my friend and i at work last night were going through our porn section (it was dead, ok?), and we found some gems that i absolutely had to write down. Some of my favourites included:

• Love me twice (if the first time wasn't enough)
  
• Inside Myself
• Shadows of lust (how sinister)
• Andromina: The Pleasure Planet (bahahah! imagine the places you could go with an outer-space theme...the sky is by no means the limit)
• A fairy's tail (hmmm....the innocent creatures that used to live in the bushes at the bottom of your garden, now appear to live in, well...)
• Hunk Boat (10 shirtless guys. 3 exotic destinations. 1 sea of pleasure)
• Thrust! (personal favourite)

Well on that sumptuous note, i'm off to try and enjoy every last drop of the day before my epic 8 hour return to uni tomorrow.

x.

Reasons why stuff is great.

TODAY'S MUSIC: Something is not right with me - Cold War Kids

AMAZING THINGS:

1. I AM SEEING DYLAN MORAN! LIVE! IN REAL LIFE LIKE! His drunken irish ramblings and violent outbursts have always had a special place in my heart...wow i am stoked beyond belief! Thanks ma!

2. Going back to uni this week....not all that amazing, but will be super to see all my long lost film buddies, and also take on International studies. I will soon be fluent in french, the language d'amour! And eat appropriate amounts of chocolate bread, chocolate milk, and many a phallic baked item.
3. In possession of Ellen's amazing cookie recipe. Have yet to unleash the genius, however am craving some sweet treats, so perhaps after work tonight i'll have a late-night baking sesh. Ohhh yeahhhh.

4. Had an awesome dream last night in which a rogue bag of pasta was trying to kill me. NOT AS FUNNY AS IT SOUNDS! DAMN YOU SAN REMO! Seriously though, brightened my day...just thinkin' about it's little carbohydrate arms and legs...

5. Hilarious looking customers keep coming into work thus making job slightly more entertaining. No jokes, the asian version of Rambo came in the other night, then a dude last night who looked exactly like Il-baba out of Spirited Away...ahhhh sweet mockery!

Anyhoo! Must run to work - the mistress Blockbuster is a harsh master.

x.

A lesson in sleep deprivation.

TODAY'S MUSIC: Tv On the Radio - Wolf like me, A method, Pretty much the whole of Return to Cookie Mountain.

Lately I've been having problems with my sleep, so perhaps a move to New York is in order? (annoying song reference #1). But really, staying up late for no good reason, having people over and not sleeping at all....i'm way too old for this kind of obscene, irresponsible, downright outlandish behaviour. So i decided to review the phenomenon for you, so you can decide for yourself if a life of nocturnal shenanigans....resultant in complete inability to function, is your preferred lifestyle option.

Of course, there are benefits of sleeping less - it increases your time capacity to lurk on facebook, lurk on blogger, or lurk in the dark recesses of the interweb only known to a select few participants on Beauty and the Geek.

It is also a veritable goldmine of tv entertainment - Re-runs of Room for Improvement (where a bunch of pseudo-interior designers fuck with some poor suckers home), Ladette to Lady (my daily inspiration), Autopsy: Life and Death (hope you're keeping down that late-night pizza your ordered), and various psycho religious propaganda.

Aspiring Ladies doing their best to reform their ways.

But the compound effect of all this brain-numbing television and cyber stalking together with a feeble 5 hours sleep, is enough to screw with your severely depleted soul.

After the all-nighter exploits of a few days ago for example, i thought i should get out for some retail therapy. Having no sleep, i was feeling pretty disorientated, so as i walked around Jigsaw and Morrissey, i found myself swaying and trying to keep upright. It must have looked like i was sauntering around the aisles like a big rich knob, when really i was just trying to stop myself falling and cracking my head open on their $1000sq m. marble floor.

Looking like a nutter is only one of the many consequences of lack of sleep. While things may seem kinda funny and ridiculous at the time, rest assured that everyone is probably laughing at you, whether you are perceptive enough to realise it, or not.

So if you are considering joining the dark forces of late-night loonies, be aware that after a few weeks of the sport, you may start eating your own flesh with fatigue-fuelled paranoia..but hey, it's just what you learnt from Autopsy, right?

Sleep Deprivation = 2 stars

Meet your host!

Hello there! While you may be excitedly thinking that you have stumbled across the blog of the dude from the Iron Chef ...unfortunately that is not the case. While we do share many similarities, namely; sporting outdated hairstyles, speaking in an awkwardly loud tone, and biting into foods with vigour, i will never match him in style or charisma.

Nay, what you have found is more like the early literary attempts of Margot Yarborough. (Pssttt she failed at writing, possibly also at life. Seriously, Google 'unsuccessful writers' and she will come up.)

On that note, i'm going to quit the blog loving for tonight, and leave you with some pics of mah mad-ho life, and all the shit that makes me want to bite into a big, dewy capsicum.

Oh Eddie one day we will be together and you will whisper to me in your soft, weasley tones.

In general I'm not fond of American comedians, save Arj Barker the genius man and a few select individuals, but i can't get enough of the Lonely Island and their jizz-worthy tunes.

Yes, Soy Milk may give little boys man-boobs, BUT IT'S STILL SCIENTIFICALLY CONTROVERSIAL, what of it? I enjoy the brown, chalky goodness of this milk-substitute.


Me being a big nerdy dewche. Nuff said.

x.